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A reader responds to Chris' Shallow Hal assertion

Hi Kevin,

Boy, every time I browse your website I find something new. I want to comment on the e-mail you received from your friend regarding men who prefer slim mates; she opened her e-mail by addressing you as "Shallow Hal." You should know first that I have been fat, and I have been slim. Slim is better (I am 5' 4" tall and weigh 120 lbs). Your friend should understand that we all have biases of one sort or another that attract us to people of the opposite sex. I'm guessing that she is no different. I wonder if she would be attracted to a man who is extremely short? How would she feel dressed for a night on the town and wearing 3 inch heels if she were towering over her date? Almost every woman I know will not date a short man. How about dating a man who is a garbage collector, or works in a sewer plant? Lots of women look at a man's career and use that information to determine if he is someone she will spend time with. I know that when I first met my husband, I thought he was devastatingly handsome, and I still think so after years of marriage. I know that while I am not exactly a Victoria's Secret lingerie model (far from it!) he found me attractive enough to want to date me when we first met, and the fact that I had a good figure contributed to that. If I had dated him and discovered that he didn't have any of the attributes beyond good looks that are important to me (intelligence, a sense of humor, compassion, likes animals, etc.) then no amount of good looks could have encouraged me to accept a second date. The fact is, it was his good looks that first drew my attention. And for the record, I don't have the typical bias against a short man. My husband is 1 inch taller than me and honestly, when I first met him, I didn't even notice his height. Unfortunately for your friend, a lot of men will never know what outstanding qualities she possesses because they won't be attracted to her in the first place and just won't take the time to get to know her as a person. And the unfortunate thing is that she could easily improve her health and her weight; I did it and it really wasn't that hard. Honestly, ask her how she would feel about dating a really short man. Do you want to bet on her response?


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You will have sex about 10,000 times during your life.

Doesn't it make sense to read a book that can maximize your enjoyment, and the enjoyment you give to your partner?

Cast away your preconceptions of sex books as being a rehash of things you already know and hence a waste of time.  By reading this book, you will learn many things that Dr. Ruth and other sexologists have never considered.

The Science of Sex
Enhancing Sexual Pleasure, Performance, Attraction, and Desire

by Kevin Pezzi, MD

Available in printed and Adobe Acrobat e-book versions (will display on any computer)

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Organize your garage beautifully.

If you want a beautiful garage that is easy to keep organized, see the GarageScapes web site:  www.GarageScapes.com.

ContactMeFree is a dream come true for anyone involved in online dating. If you have your profile posted on a personals site but don't pay for a membership, you know how limited you are in terms of being able to send or receive messages. You probably assume that those limitations disappear if you pay for a membership. Guess what? You are still far more limited than you realize. Frankly, if you knew how limited you were, you would be furious that the personals site was charging you $20 to $50 per month and still keeping the shackles on you! The person who created ContactMeFree was so outraged by those limitations that he decided to do something about it. So he did!

You know that writer's block you get when you sit down to write the essay portion of your personal profile for online dating? And you know the difficulty you have trying to think of a catchy headline? Well, MyProfileWriter allows you to create a profile essay and headline without typing, just by clicking!

Copyright © 1995 – 2011 by Kevin Pezzi, MD • Terms of use